A hill of beans

If one can set aside the many, many ethical issues involving AI art, the question remains for its detractors (like me): what exactly do its proponents see in it? It’s certainly gotten “better,” in the sense that the people in the images now usually have the right number of fingers, and any text isn’t a garbled mess of ersatz letters, and there are fewer instances of what H.P. Lovecraft would call non-Euclidean architecture. But for me at least, the more accurate AI gets, the less it appeals. In the early days of DALL-E and Midjourney, when we were all stuck at home in the midst of a pandemic, typing silly prompts and getting smudgy blurs in response was a lark. Like the joke about the dog who could only type 20 words a minute, the remarkable thing was that it worked at all, not that it was any good. But today, when I prompt Chat GPT with “patriotic American family with a boy and a girl and a dog watching TV,” the elaborate tableau generated is so on the nose, and yet so soulless and dead-eyed (see below), that it renders all the state-of-the-art computation (and the presumably extravagant energy use) irrelevant. All the figures face forward and arranged using strict isocephaly; the virtual canvas is arranged with horror vacui that makes Where’s Waldo look open and airy.

chat gpt
Chat GPT image from my prompt (this is the first, and I hope the last, time I will ever use generative AI)

There have been a lot of think pieces about the politics of AI art, from claims that it’s beloved by fascists, to the counter belief that it’s a great democratizer. It does seem to have a particular home on social media, Facebook especially, where AI’s prosaic manner lends itself to oversimplification, cliché, and moralism. When you don’t have to do the work of actually visualizing what you’re saying, you don’t have to make sure your ideas make sense and that your facts are, well, facts. Part of the process of creation is realizing that your visual problems may actually be conceptual problems. Similarly, viewers looking for confirmation of their own beliefs are more easily swayed by images that have the veneer of reality. Or they might just accept them as real.

Whatever the politics, it’s this effortless, cut-and-dried nature of AI that makes it so tedious. Allow me to make another one of my patented far-fetched analogies. In the mid 90’s, during the heyday of Microsoft Office, clip art was everywhere, and the most overused clip arts of all were the Screen Beans, a series of bulbous human-shaped silhouettes doing things, or more commonly, reacting to things. These illustrations were designed by Cathy Belleville and licensed to Microsoft for distribution with Office in 1995. They depicted poses that were purposefully vague, so that they could be used in any situation; however, that vagueness also drained them of any meaningful content or personality.

But, boy howdy, they got used. In Powerpoint presentations, yes, but also in church bake sale signs and guitar lesson flyers and passive aggressive notes reminding people to pay into the coffee fund. This was before most people had Internet access so it all got printed on the sly using the office laser printer. So many trees gave their lives for the millions of reams of 20 lb. copy paper that were emblazoned with a screen bean jumping in the air or scratching its head in bewilderment. But for all the ubiquity of these inky nebbishes, they never really gave the texts they accompanied any new information.

those unavoidable Screen Beans

So why do these generic, overused illustrations remind me of AI art, which is supposed to be bespoke to the user prompt? Both are art for people who really don’t care about art. They are perfunctory nods in the direction of art employed by people who lack the skills, funds, or interest to do better. Clip art, like AI, was presented as a democratic form bringing design to the masses. Why limit art production to people who spent their lives developing a skill, who expect to be paid for what they do? This will do instead. But to paraphrase Johnson, “what is drawn without effort is in general viewed without pleasure.”

The history of art has been the history of its production and distribution. When books had to be written by the few who were literate and copied painstakingly by hand, there were few books, but they were highly valued by writer and reader alike. Similarly, music production once required musicians who had invested years into their craft, as well as had access to instruments or could make their own. Listening required finding these musicians, organizing them, and gathering an audience. Painters had to apprentice with masters in their workshops; they had to know how to mix linseed oil or tempera with rare pigments. As people learned ways to mass produce their tools, to replicate their creations, and to widely disseminate the results, the arts changed. And this was a good thing, because it meant greater access for art lovers, a lower bar to entry for potential artists, and less cost for everyone. Technology in this case really was democratizing. But up until now, however it was made, the creation of art had to be intentional, and took time and practice.

This is what’s lost when effort is eliminated. Whether you mine your own cobalt to mix your own paint or you draw in digital media on a tablet, the effort is the art: not just the act of creating, but your motives, your lived experiences, and your personal aesthetics are the ultimate media of your work. Likewise, the effort an audience brings to close attention, to interpretation, to contextualization—that’s the other half of art. And if we give the production over to machines, we may as well design an AI to enjoy it.

I never thought leopard dogs would eat my face

When my wife and I were first thinking of adopting a dog a few years ago, we spent a while considering the breed. We went back and forth on size preferences, how active a pup we could handle, etc. Eventually Marina started looking for a German Shepherd, based on her warm memories of a half-Shepherd her grandparents had when she was a girl. When she found an adoption posting for our dog Hunter (whom I’ve mentioned before), it was love at first sight.

Hunter
Hunter and his amazing ears (photo by me)

Because of the anonymity of the adoption process, we didn’t know anything of Hunter’s origins beyond his obvious resemblance to a black and tan Shepherd. It was also pretty clear that there was at least one other breed in there somewhere, if only because of his half-pointy, half-floppy ears that resemble bat wings when he perks them up. Eventually our curiosity got to us and so we paid for genetic testing. When we got the analysis, we learned we were proud owners of a 50-50 mix of German Shepherd and Catahoula Leopard Dog.

catahoula
A Catahoula Leopard Dog (Wikimedia Commons)

What’s a Catahoula Leopard Dog? you might ask. I mean, that’s what Marina and I asked; we had never heard of such a thing—we had to Google. The Catahoula Leopard Dog, a.k.a the Catahoula Hog Dog, a.k.a the Louisiana Catahoula Cur, or (simply) a.k.a. the Catahoula, is the state dog of Louisiana. It’s a breed that dates to the 18th century, when French settlers in the Mississippi basin crossbred their own Beauceron dog with Native American dogs, making a delicious creole canine gumbo. The resultant breed was a dog that was smaller and faster than the Beauceron, and well-adapted to hunting in swamps (they even have webbed paws). Catahoula were (and still are) used to hunt wild boar, and while I’m no hunter myself, I have to admit that’s pretty badass. They get the “leopard” part of their name from the fact that most (but not all) have an irregular patchwork of large and small spots. Some are white, some are brown, some are black, some are a bluish gray. They tend towards medium-large (65–75 pounds) and have floppy ears and soulful eyes, although to be fair, all dogs have those.

dogs
A sampler of the many Catahoula color schemes
(collage of images from Wikimedia Commons)

Knowing Hunter’s genetics explained a lot about his idiosyncratic behaviors. When outdoors, he likes to range far from us, intent on flushing out rabbits and squirrels. When he trees the latter, he expectantly summons us, presumably to shoot the poor critter down. Indoors, however, he is docile and cuddly, and he hates when anyone leaves the room and tries to herd us together—a Hog Dog in the streets and a Shepherd in the sheets. But home life is not all snuggles and pets: at home, he goes into watchdog mode, staring intently out our front window, barking clamorous epithets at anyone passing within 30 yards of the house.

They also serve, who only stand and wait

The Catahoula in Hunter goes beyond his behavior. While his coloration is Shepherd, his build is almost entirely Catahoula, from his attenuated, deer-like legs to his barrel chest. And when he gets wet, you can see through the slicked-down fur the distinctive spots on the skin below.

spots
Hunter’s hidden spots (another photo by me)

Our adoption papers say that Hunter was born in Massachusetts. We will probably never know how or why his parents were bred together; perhaps his mix is a sought-after one? I imagine many people would want a Shepha-loua; ours is certainly a very good boy (although again, all dogs are).

To end this essay on a jarringly different note (it’s a bad habit of mine): Since New England has no boar to offer, I have spent a not-insignificant amount of time watching YouTube videos about Catahoulas, trying to learn what activities and training might be appropriate for our dog. A lot of the videos are specifically about training your puppy to hunt. Many are silly domestic videos about the odd sounds the dogs make when irritated, or other creative ways they express dissatisfaction. And some are about how the breed requires careful training lest they become dangerous. Among these, I found some curious AI-produced shorts that present a large language fever dream of a “leopard dog” which might be at home in one of Tim Burton’s later films (you know, the bad ones). These videos, while hilarious, are a puzzle to me. What series of events led to their creation? Was there a human who holds a grudge against Catahoulas that dictated these to Nano Banana? Were they part of a larger AI project tasked with producing a video about every American Kennel Club breed? Were any humans involved at all? These hallucinatory vignettes are a cautionary tale, less for their warning regarding the breed, and more for their illustration of just how froot-loops bonkers artificial intelligence can be.

what
For when you gaze long into the leopard dog, the leopard dog gazes also into you

Games without frontiers

My parents were (and remain) staunchly liberal, but for people who lived their twenties through the eras of beatniks and hippies they were (and remain) pretty square. In the 70s my dad had sideburns and a mustache and smoked a pipe; my mom had a bob cut and wore knee-length skirts. Their record collection consisted of mostly classical and musical theater albums with probably the most scandalous disc being a copy of Herbie Mann’s Push Push1. It’s a wonder, then, that my childhood was filled to the brim with subversive boardgames. By this I mean games designed to promote skepticism, free thinking, and in some cases, out and out Marxism. This essay focuses on the eggheaded, leftist games of my youth.

WFF ‘n Proof (1962)

WFF 'n Proof

I believe my Dad acquired his copy of WFF ‘n Proof in college. In any case, this strange dice game was kicking around the house as far back as I can remember, and as long as I can remember I was trying, and failing, to learn how to play. WFF ‘n Proof is a game where players roll a handful of odd wooden dice whose sides were (mostly) Roman letters. Then they attempt, using propositional calculus, to arrange the dice into a string of atoms and connectors to produce valid statements, or what the game maker Layman E. Allen referred to as “well-formed-formulas (WFFs).” Just for fun, instead of the standard system of symbolic logic, this game uses “Polish notation,” a system of expression developed by logician Jan Łukasiewicz in which the operator is placed before its operands. Did I mention I tried to learn this game when I was seven?

This game did not strike me as particularly odd as a child. My parents were the type to let their kids play with adult things (if they weren’t dangerous or inappropriate) and let us work out what we could. Besides, my dad was a professor of theology and philosophy and occasionally taught symbolic logic, and he had an old copy of Stephen Barker’s The Elements of Logic (1965) that he gave me and my brother to read. So, proof that autism is hereditary!

dice
The WFF ‘n Proof dice, as inscrutable now as ever

I may never have learned to play WFF ‘n Proof, but I was in love with its odd presentation. The game came (in its original edition) in a plastic wallet with foam rubber housing for the dice, a thick rulebook that was more like a short novel, and a tiny hourglass for timing moves. Whatever happened to these tiny hourglasses? They used to have one in every game. As an adult, I once bought a copy of this game off eBay, only to find that foam rubber does not age well over the decades (to see what I mean, Google “original Yoda puppet”).

As niche as the game is, it is still in print today.

The Propaganda Game (1970)

Propoganda

The WFF ‘n Proof company (which billed itself as “games for thinkers”) also produced other games. One, which my family also owned, was The Propaganda Game, and it was here that my education as a skeptic began. This game was also developed by Layman E. Allen, but also credited Lorne Greene, Commander Adama himself2. In a statement on the box, Mr. Greene outlines the game’s purpose:

In a democratic society such as ours, it is the role of every citizen to make decisions after evaluating many ideas. It is especially important then that a citizen be able to analyze and distinguish between the emotional aura surrounding the idea and the actual content of the idea. It is to this goal of clear thinking that THE PROPAGANDA GAME addresses itself.

In contrast to WFF ‘n Proof, The Propaganda Game‘s rules are very simple. A set of cards are printed with a series of short arguments or appeals to the reader, and the players have to identify what kind of propaganda is being employed. If they get it right, they slide their tiddley-wink marker up the score sheet; if they get it wrong, they go back a rank.

The game is subdivided into various propaganda categories, such as “Techniques of Self-Deception,” “Techniques of Language,” “Techniques of Exploitation,” etc. Within each category, there are eight to ten techniques to identify, such as “Prejudice,” “Academic Detachment,” “Drawing the Line,” “Not Drawing the Line,” “Wishful Thinking,” “Tabloid Thinking,” and my favorite, “Causal Oversimplification,” which I believe is 85% of discourse online (the other 15% is straight-and-out lying). These categories and their techniques were first proposed in the book Thinking Straighter by George Henry Moulds (1966).

Cards
Some of the statements to evaluate. Can you spot the propaganda techniques used?

As you might imagine, a lot of this is subjective, and even as a child I found myself yelling back at Allan and Greene: “That’s not Drawing the Line! That’s just being clear!” Apparently I am not alone in my complaints, as tournament rules for this game use an amended guide, available online.

Clear thinking chart

The most amusing aspect of the game is the “Clear thinking chart” used to keep score. Each rank has an unflattering name that corresponds to how easily propagandized the player is, such as “Brooklyn Bridge Buyer” or “Bilker’s Bonanza.” If you are unlucky enough to slide into negative numbers you end up in the “Ding-a-ling section.” It was a different time. There was also an interesting mechanic for games of three or more players where each voted on the correct technique, so the game not only introduced participants to propaganda but also to the Asch Conformity Test.

Lie, Cheat & Steal (1971)

I remember when my parents purchased this game (at my brother’s and my behest). It was at Straus’s, which was the frou-frou department store that once was the pride of Youngstown, Ohio. In those days before being destroyed by malls and big boxes, department stores often carried unusual games, toys, and other novelties, and that included the output of tiny producers. Lie, Cheat & Steal was published by now long-defunct Reiss Games, whose output mostly consisted of abstract strategy and party games, although they also apparently made a board game based on the 70’s scandalous paperback The Happy Hooker. Lie, Cheat & Steal (herein, LC&S) was a highly jaundiced game about political campaigning, as described on the box bottom:

LIE, CHEAT & STEAL is the game of unscrupulous politics. You and one to five of your shifty friends can get in on the dirty-dealing, back-stabbing and thinly disguised thievery that make up the real political world.

You buy and sell votes, steal from the Public Treasury, and libel the other players to get ahead. The Senate may investigate you. You may even go bankrupt. But don’t give up! LIE, CHEAT & STEAL gives you plenty of opportunity to come back and win.

LC&S actually pre-dates Watergate, but it does reflect the era’s cynical views about corruption and money influence. Modeled somewhat obviously after Monopoly, the players roll dice to move clockwise around the board, acquiring money in unscrupulous ways to eventually buy votes. Along the way you land on spaces with names like “Tammany Hall,” “Chicago Machine” and “League of Women Voters Luncheon.” In the course of the game you might become the subject of a Senate investigation and have to take the witness stand. You collect “feathers in your cap” or “black eyes.” Neither my brother or I understood the meaning of any of this other than the “Jail” space, but we did ask our mom a lot of questions, and she did her best to explain the machinations of American Politics.

The LC&S board. I thought the guy in these pictures looked like a character in an Inspector Clouseau cartoon.

LC&S was probably the most playable amongst the games I describe in this essay, but that’s not to say it was all that fun. Like Monopoly, it ran long, and by the end I was happy when anyone would win, just as long as the game was over. As far as politics went, I was already pretty cynical and needed no board game to disillusion me.

Class Struggle (1978)

Class Struggle

I have no idea where my dad got this game, but I suspect he sought it out because of its press coverage. The bottom of the box (I think it was the second printing of the game) enumerates its infamy:

FIRST book about capitalism to come packaged in a game box… FIRST game to be written up in a NEW YORK TIMES editorial … FIRST game ever to be played on the radio (for two hours on WBAI) … FIRST game ever to be sold by Scribner’s, 8th Street Bookshop and Salter’s Bookstore, three of New York’s most famous bookstores FIRST full-scale board game to present the side of the workers. FIRST board game ever to be sold in both Toy and Stationery Departments in Bloomingdale’s .. FIRST game ever to be sold out in one week in
Bookmasters, N.Y.C. …

Class Struggle was developed by political professor Bertell Ollman of NYU and it’s really less of a game than a recapitulation of Karl Marx’s Das Kapital, with a rule book that is nearly as long as its source material. The pre-Photoshop collage on the cover shows Nelson Rockefeller arm wrestling Marx. Nelson has a few hundred dollar bills in his suit’s breast pocket, in case the point isn’t clear enough. In this game, one player is “the workers” and the other is “the capitalists” and they are caught in an arena of dialectical materialism, as represented by a cluttered and hastily-designed board. If there are more than two players, other factions are used, like academics or professionals, and these can make alliances with either the workers or the capitalists. The game, at least in its early editions, came with components that were at once elaborate and cheap, the strangest of which were the dice, which seemed to be cast in some sort of yellow epoxy that chipped easily.

The Class Struggle board. Will the world end in Socialism, Barbarism, or Nuclear War?

The game was not so much fun as it was funny. I imagine if you were a student of political philosophy your would get many sensible chuckles. But for me it was another clockwise slog around the board, and the games’s many potshots at Capitalism seemed like casual oversimplification. Callback!

When my parents moved from my childhood home to a new place a couple of decades ago, they cleaned out a lot of the games that had survived our many basement floodings, and one of them was Class Struggle, which they offered to whichever son would take it. I said thanks but no thanks. I think Rob may have taken it, which in hindsight might have been a lucrative move. Because however unfun, the game has developed something of a cult status over the years, with online retrospectives, contemporary re-imaginings, and even original sets sold at auction. An ironic fate, considering the game’s whole raison d’être.


  1. The 70s were filled to the brim with photos of hairy shirtless guys. ↩︎
  2. Yes, I know that he’s primarily known for Gunsmoke. This sentence is here just to annoy Boomers. ↩︎