You ask me if I love you/and I choke on my reply
First, Dan, I didn’t say anything. Second, you need to chew more.
I said yep, what a concep’/I could use a little fuel myself/and we could all use a little change
Um, so is that a yes or no on the gas money? Because I’m not clear, Mr. Mouth.
A bottle of red/a bottle of white/Whatever kind of mood you‘re in tonight
Billy. We were discussing the sad dissolution of the marriage of our two friends Brenda and Eddie, when all at once you yelled “and ROCK AND ROLL!” and then you launched into a saxophone solo. This strikes me as both a non sequitur, and somewhat insensitive.
The head nurse spoke up/said, “leave this one alone”
We are holding this inquest on the Thorogood birth for two reasons. One, while we have all due respect for your role as head of obstetrical nursing, in this hospital only M.D.s are allowed to make diagnoses. Two, and more concerning, there is no known medical condition of being “bad to the bone.”
And sometimes when we touch/the honesty’s too much/and I have to close my eyes and hide
Um. Dan. You realize that closing your eyes doesn’t hide you, don’t you? I mean, you’re not actually four years old?
Hey Soul Sister/Ain’t that Mister Mister on the radio?
Sir, I was born in 1994.
Bonus joke: the dad-iest dad joke ever1
Did you hear that Donald Fagen almost fainted when he saw how much an engagement ring cost?
He was reelin’, in De Beers.
- In that it is a) a tortured pun that is b) about Steely Dan and c) I am a dad. ↩︎
Creative Commons photo by Jonathan Cooper
https://www.pexels.com/photo/used-vinyl-records-on-sale-11703468/
