A hill of beans

If one can set aside the many, many ethical issues involving AI art, the question remains for its detractors (like me): what exactly do its proponents see in it? It’s certainly gotten “better,” in the sense that the people in the images now usually have the right number of fingers, and any text isn’t a garbled mess of ersatz letters, and there are fewer instances of what H.P. Lovecraft would call non-Euclidean architecture. But for me at least, the more accurate AI gets, the less it appeals. In the early days of DALL-E and Midjourney, when we were all stuck at home in the midst of a pandemic, typing silly prompts and getting smudgy blurs in response was a lark. Like the joke about the dog who could only type 20 words a minute, the remarkable thing was that it worked at all, not that it was any good. But today, when I prompt Chat GPT with “patriotic American family with a boy and a girl and a dog watching TV,” the elaborate tableau generated is so on the nose, and yet so soulless and dead-eyed (see below), that it renders all the state-of-the-art computation (and the presumably extravagant energy use) irrelevant. All the figures face forward and arranged using strict isocephaly; the virtual canvas is arranged with horror vacui that makes Where’s Waldo look open and airy.

chat gpt
Chat GPT image from my prompt (this is the first, and I hope the last, time I will ever use generative AI)

There have been a lot of think pieces about the politics of AI art, from claims that it’s beloved by fascists, to the counter belief that it’s a great democratizer. It does seem to have a particular home on social media, Facebook especially, where AI’s prosaic manner lends itself to oversimplification, cliché, and moralism. When you don’t have to do the work of actually visualizing what you’re saying, you don’t have to make sure your ideas make sense and that your facts are, well, facts. Part of the process of creation is realizing that your visual problems may actually be conceptual problems. Similarly, viewers looking for confirmation of their own beliefs are more easily swayed by images that have the veneer of reality. Or they might just accept them as real.

Whatever the politics, it’s this effortless, cut-and-dried nature of AI that makes it so tedious. Allow me to make another one of my patented far-fetched analogies. In the mid 90’s, during the heyday of Microsoft Office, clip art was everywhere, and the most overused clip arts of all were the Screen Beans, a series of bulbous human-shaped silhouettes doing things, or more commonly, reacting to things. These illustrations were designed by Cathy Belleville and licensed to Microsoft for distribution with Office in 1995. They depicted poses that were purposefully vague, so that they could be used in any situation; however, that vagueness also drained them of any meaningful content or personality.

But, boy howdy, they got used. In Powerpoint presentations, yes, but also in church bake sale signs and guitar lesson flyers and passive aggressive notes reminding people to pay into the coffee fund. This was before most people had Internet access so it all got printed on the sly using the office laser printer. So many trees gave their lives for the millions of reams of 20 lb. copy paper that were emblazoned with a screen bean jumping in the air or scratching its head in bewilderment. But for all the ubiquity of these inky nebbishes, they never really gave the texts they accompanied any new information.

those unavoidable Screen Beans

So why do these generic, overused illustrations remind me of AI art, which is supposed to be bespoke to the user prompt? Both are art for people who really don’t care about art. They are perfunctory nods in the direction of art employed by people who lack the skills, funds, or interest to do better. Clip art, like AI, was presented as a democratic form bringing design to the masses. Why limit art production to people who spent their lives developing a skill, who expect to be paid for what they do? This will do instead. But to paraphrase Johnson, “what is drawn without effort is in general viewed without pleasure.”

The history of art has been the history of its production and distribution. When books had to be written by the few who were literate and copied painstakingly by hand, there were few books, but they were highly valued by writer and reader alike. Similarly, music production once required musicians who had invested years into their craft, as well as had access to instruments or could make their own. Listening required finding these musicians, organizing them, and gathering an audience. Painters had to apprentice with masters in their workshops; they had to know how to mix linseed oil or tempera with rare pigments. As people learned ways to mass produce their tools, to replicate their creations, and to widely disseminate the results, the arts changed. And this was a good thing, because it meant greater access for art lovers, a lower bar to entry for potential artists, and less cost for everyone. Technology in this case really was democratizing. But up until now, however it was made, the creation of art had to be intentional, and took time and practice.

This is what’s lost when effort is eliminated. Whether you mine your own cobalt to mix your own paint or you draw in digital media on a tablet, the effort is the art: not just the act of creating, but your motives, your lived experiences, and your personal aesthetics are the ultimate media of your work. Likewise, the effort an audience brings to close attention, to interpretation, to contextualization—that’s the other half of art. And if we give the production over to machines, we may as well design an AI to enjoy it.

Measure twice, cut once

In spite of my resolutions to write and podcast on something that more resembles an actual schedule, I have done neither recently. But my plea to the dozen of you that read this blog is to be forgiving: last week I had in-patient nose surgery to correct a deviated septum. In my case it was less deviated and more full-on deviant. Often, the septum can be corrected by septal resection: simply removing a portion of the cartilage and calling it a day; but my deviation was so extensive that doing this alone would cause my nose to collapse, and while that might be hilarious at first, it’s medically inadvisable; so my surgery was a septoplasty1, which is like a rhinoplasty, but less sexy, in that the nose gets shored up, either with bits of the patient’s cartilage or with a donor’s2.

I’m not over-sharing this out of a desire for sympathy while I convalesce (although flowers, chocolates, and bottles of scotch are welcome). Nor am I using solipsism as a crutch for not having other things to write about (not much, anyway). What I want to write about here is the way that, for all of the advancements in pharmaceuticals, imaging systems, and assistive robotics, surgery—and medicine in general—remains low-tech at heart.

Gray's Anatomy

Reconstructing a septum has many similarities to carpentry: it’s a matter of cutting, positioning, and tacking. My surgeon had to use a hammer and chisel (or whatever they’re called in a surgical context) to pop my septum’s cartilage free from the bone. To allow my nostrils to heal in the proper open shape, I have had stents stuck in my sinuses like tiny cannoli tubes. Similarly, my post-surgery care has also been humble: flushing my nose with salt and water, and strapping a bit of gauze under the nostrils to soak up whatever falls out on its own due to gravity.

Back in the early 90s, when cable television kept adding odd networks in an attempt to convince viewers they were getting a bargain, there was a channel that consisted almost entirely of videos of surgical procedures, and since as I child I had wanted to be a surgeon, I watched these late at night3 with fascination. The one I remembered most vividly was a hip replacement in which the head of the femur was to be replaced with a polyethylene and steel prosthetic. The surgeons popped the bone free from its joint so that it stuck out like a rib in a rack of lamb, and then used a hacksaw to remove to worn-out part.

But the part of the procedure that was most memorable was when they hollowed the upper shaft of the femur so that the stem of the prosthetic could be inserted and cemented in place. One of the surgeons reamed out the femur using a long hand rasp, the kind you might have kicking around in a toolbox in the garage. I was shocked that such an imprecise tool, powered entirely by hand, was being used on a person. Recently I discussed this video with my son, who is his fourth year of med school, and he seemed unfazed, saying that it was about par for an orthopedic surgery, where so many involve mallets, saws, and screws.

Actually, I find it oddly comforting that at the end of the day we are made of physical stuff, and that there are people who have developed the skills to repair that stuff physically. It takes an enormous amount of knowledge, it takes substantial resources, and it takes procedures that have been developed painstakingly through generations. But it also takes a skilled, steady hand, patience, and pride of craft. It takes someone breaking things and sticking them together with stitches, screws, and glue. And I am lucky to have had the opportunity to get broken and fixed by a pro.


  1. Because nothing is ever easy, “Septoplasty” is sometimes used to refer to the removal of cartilage alone, or to the harvesting of said cartilage, or to the subsequent reconstruction, or to the whole enchilada of these procedures. And here I thought medical terms were all about precision. ↩︎
  2. In my case, my own cartilage was enough, so sadly I can’t now lay claim to a Frankenose. ↩︎
  3. I worked second shift. The joys of grad school! ↩︎